mascarade

You were a mask

like anyone else,

a mouth made of sugar,

a mirror of nails.

A magnet of energy,

a blue little star,

pulling my shadow

from very far.

A vampire of salt,

with ocean-black eyes,

drinking the moon

from the wound in the sky.

And I wanted miracles,

I wanted the spell,

I wanted to fall

through your beautiful hell.

I wanted to believe,

I wanted to glow,

I wanted the night

to swallow me slow.

Hypnotized again,

hypnotized again,

counting dead flowers

inside of my brain.

Hypnotized again,

hypnotized again,

I built the cage

and called it your name.

You were a signal

with no one inside,

a silver disaster

learning to smile.

Your hands were two candles

that never gave light,

your voice was a chapel

that opened at night.

And I fell in the trap

of my own little mind,

searching for heaven

in something unkind.

Because I wanted to love you,

to love you for real,

but love was a mirror

forgetting to feel.

I wanted to believe,

I wanted to glow,

I wanted the night

to swallow me slow.

Hypnotized again,

hypnotized again,

counting dead flowers

inside of my brain.

Hypnotized again,

hypnotized again,

I built the cage

and called it your name.

Then silence wore lipstick,

then God turned away,

the room became water,

the water became clay.

And there in the darkness,

soft, cold, and bright,

I saw my own hunger

wearing your light.