This is not what a song should do
Verse 1 You don’t rhyme “plunger” with “lover’s gaze” You don’t sing about delays Or the weird mole on your back Or that dream where your dentist attacks Chorus This is not what a song should do No stars, no hearts, no skies of blue Just nonsense tripping in plain old shoes Everything a song should never say — and I just did too Verse 2 No verse about tax returns or mold Or that toenail you lost in the cold Nothing sweet about a traffic jam Or the smell of grandma’s old ham Chorus This is not the anthem of the soul No violins, no self-control It’s laundry lists and toilet rolls Everything a song should never hold Bridge Don’t mention the Wi-Fi’s weak again Or the printer that jams in the rain Don’t dedicate a line to your rash Or confess you once loved potato mash Verse 3 (deadpan spoken) You don’t serenade expired milk Or praise your pants made out of silk You don’t mourn your neighbor’s pet fish Or admit you once ate soap… on a dare… like, on a dish Final Chorus (slow and grand) This...